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Insights

I am in pain, but I can't describe it to you. Is it my muscles, my bones or my head? I take my medicines, I visit the doctor regularly and I am constantly in bed. I wonder if I will ever be all right again. Will I be able to read, cook or take another walk in the park? Or will this take me to the end of my days? Yet when I look at you, I wonder how real my pain is, because when I look in your eyes I see the pain it's causing you. 

I am in distress, my world is turning upside down. I have lost my job, my friends and I am going through divorce. My eyes are ringed with dark circles, I cannot sleep at night. I worry constantly and my heart is always racing. When you ask me, I say I am ok because when I look in your eyes I wonder which pain is greater to me; the pain of losing so much or the pain I see dawning over your face.

I am ok. I will be ok. I want to remind you my dear mother and father that I am a survivor. I want you to know that I will be ok. I want you to know that you have a child that derives her strengths from you. 

My dear child, I wish you didn't have to see me in this weak state. Your mother is strong and soon you shall see her running and chasing you again. 

My dear sister and friend don't worry about me. I am going through what every caterpillar needs to go through. I will break free from the cocoon, I promise you. Just bear with me and don't give up hope in me. One day I will be so ok that you won’t need to ask if I am feeling ok.
All I need at this time is assurance from you. Remind me of Allah's great ways and that He is greater than any problem. Remind me that I have been through worse and that I will pull through this one too.
Remind me of the many hadiths of the Prophet (peace be upon him) that say:
Narrated 'Aisha: Allah's Apostle said, "No calamity befalls a Muslim but that Allah expiates some of his sins because of it, even though it were the prick he receives from a thorn.” Bukhari

Narrated Abu Sa'id Al-Khudri and Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that.” Bukhari

Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle said, "The example of a believer is that of a fresh tender plant; from whatever direction the wind comes, it bends it, but when the wind becomes quiet, it becomes straight again. Similarly, a believer is afflicted with calamities (but he remains patient until Allah removes his difficulties.) And an impious wicked person is like a pine tree which keeps hard and straight till Allah cuts (breaks) it down when He wishes." Bukhari

Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle said, "If Allah wants to do good to somebody, He afflicts him with trials." Bukhari

Alhamdulillah I am a Muslim, Alhamdulillah I believe in fate, Alhamdulillah I have a great role model who taught me to be patient and that whatever happens to me right or wrong it is good for me.

 
photo credit: Mohammed Abdifatah

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