Abu Huraira(ra) reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: The strong-man is not one who wrestles well but the strong man is one who controls himself when he is in a fit of rage.
Sahih Muslim Book 032, 6313
Anger is a normal emotion, if it spirals out of control, and there can be serious consequences for your state of mind, health and relationships. Analysing the reasons for your anger can help you manage your temper. Feeling angry when you have been wronged is a normal reaction, but how we react when we are angry could make a big difference. If anger is not controlled you could seriously harm yourself or others.
Narated By Abu Huraira(ra) : A man said to the Prophet , “Advise me! “The Prophet said, “Do not become angry and furious.” The man asked (the same) again and again, and the Prophet said in each case, “Do not become angry and furious.”
Sahih Bukhari , Book 073, Hadith 137
If you get angry easily, you may think there is very little you can do to control yourself, but we all have more control on our emotions especially anger than we think. Anger management takes a lot of work, practice and patience. The more you learn to express your feelings without raising your voice or getting violent, the easier it gets to manage provoking situations.
You may think that anger is just a way you are expressing yourself but anger can have negative effects on you:
- Physical health- High blood pressure, insomnia, weakened immunity, high cholesterol and diabetes are just some of the health problems caused by anger.
- Mental Health- Stress and depression set in when you can think clearly.
- Your career- You alienate your work colleagues and clients by constantly getting angry.
- Relationship with others- Anger damages your relations with your friends and family especially young children.
Some anger management tips:
- Explore the real reason behind your anger. Anger is usually a cover up for other deeper feelings.
- Watch out for signs of anger like: headaches, breathing faster, stress, tensing shoulders, need to walk around.
- Find healthier ways to express yourself by pinpointing what is making you angry.
- Learn ways to cool down.
Here are some ways to calm down when anger is getting out of control:
Hadith - Sahih Bukhari 8.136, Narrated Sulaiman bin Sarad, r.a.
Two men abused each other in front of the Prophet while we were sitting with him. One of the two abused his companion furiously and his face became red. The Prophet said, "I know a word (sentence) the saying of which will cause him to relax if this man says it. Only if he said, 'I seek refuge with Allah from Satan, the outcast.' " So they said to that (furious) man, "Don't you hear what the Prophet is saying?" He said, "I am not mad."
Hadith - Sunan of Abu Dawood, Narrated Atiyyah as-Sa'di, r.a.
AbuWa'il al-Qass said: We entered upon Urwah ibn Muhammad ibn as-Sa'di. A man spoke to him and made him angry. So he stood and performed ablution; he then returned and performed ablution, and said: My father told me on the authority of my grandfather Atiyyah who reported the Apostle of Allah (peace be upon him) as saying: Anger comes from the devil, the devil was created of fire, and fire is extinguished only with water; so when one of you becomes angry, he should perform ablution.
Hadith - Sunan of Abu Dawood, Narrated Abu Dharr, r.a.
The Apostle of Allah (peace be upon him) said to us: When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down.
Living with a person with an anger problem can create huge drifts in relationships. There is no excuse for physical or verbal abuse. Everyone has a right to be live in harmony. Set boundaries in your relations. Calm down before having a conversation or bringing up controversial issues.
"He who holds on firmly to my Sunnah at a time when my Ummah are (grovelling) in corruption will receive a reward of a hundred martyrs."
Abu Hurayrah rahimahullah reported that Allah’s messenger sallalaahu ‘alayhi was sallam said: “When a human being dies, all of his deeds are terminated except for three types: an ongoing sadaqah, a knowledge(of Islaam) from which others benefit, and a righteous child who makes du’aa for him.” (Muslim and others)